Wedding etiquette (for the Bride and Groom)

 

        There’s so much that goes into wedding etiquette that I could wright a novel about just this subject alone. Anywhere from the planning of the wedding to how your guests and wedding party should dress. Today we are only going to cover who pays for what and pre-wedding parties and customs, specifically the Bridal shower and what you should expect.

Who pays for what?

            In recent years more brides and grooms are splitting the cost 3 ways, between themselves and their parents. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Things are no longer the way they were 100 years ago or even 10 years ago. But if you can, here is a list of a few things that each party is traditionally responsible for.

-        The bride’s family was responsible for the cost of the wedding.

-        The groom’s family is responsible for the marriage license and the clergy member’s or judges’ fees.

-        The bride or her family pays for the groom’s ring

-        The groom or his family pays for the bouquet, boutonnieres for the men in the wedding party, and corsages for the mothers and grandmothers.

The bridal shower

There is a legend that the first Bridal shower in Holland for a maiden who fell in-love with a poor miller. To discourage the marriage the father of the bride refused her the customary bridal dowry. To help the couple set up housekeeping, where the miller’s friends “showered the bride” in gifts.

            Another custom is for the bride to be, to “go collecting” door to door to receive her gifts in a pillowcase, in the company of an older married man in a top hat carrying an umbrella (the umbrella represents shelter). Now a bride will travel to a store’s wedding gift registry to list preferences for her guests.

The purpose of the shower is to help the new couple fit into their new home. Typically hosted by friends, bridesmaids, and/or the maid of honor, the shower is an informal event that can be hosted in someone’s home where you can host lunch, a barbeque, or a pool party.

 

 

 

Resources and material you can use for more information about the do’s and don’ts when planning your wedding:

Martha Stewart Weddings - 20 rules you should definitely follow (no really)

Bride’s Magazine - Bride’s book of Etiquette

www.brides.com – Wedding Etiquette